I have been busy, and knitting, and doing all manner of wonderful things, and I know that right now life sucks so much worse for people in Kansas and even other people in this dorm, but I’m not feeling too selfish when I say that life sucks for me and that’s all I want to talk about.
So remember last year when life kinds sucked? Well as if to summon the spirits of choir list announcement days past today was an almost total repeat of last year, except on a Monday. I don;t need to list everything, but it’s got the works, rejections (x 3), dissapointments, failures (not literal, because I know Mom reads this blog), Emily Dckinson (whom I love, but has the ability to make me feel very sad), upsetting things, and just general shit. It sucks, and it has sucked for days and my emotional elastic is all worn out. I seriously haven’t got the resilience left to just bounce back like I usually do. I just keep crying, I’ve been crying and crying for going on 8 hours now, but there’s no escape, no break, life doesn’t stop because I had a bad day. I just really wish it could.
I know that last year it all turned around and life was good again, but right now it feels like there’s a dementor on my sholder and that I’ll never be happy again.
Knitting later, emoness now. I have to go.